elite coaching tips

At Strong Bad Speed School, we provide elite, extremely serious coaching advice for people whose pace currently stinks.

1

Run Faster by Looking More Expensive

Real speed begins when your sunglasses cost too much and your shorts look medically unnecessary.

2

Always Pick a Rival

It doesn’t matter who – some guy with huge calves, a lady in wraparound shades, a suspiciously fit grandpa – just decide they’ve insulted you personally.

3

Optimize Your Footstrike for Maximum Intimidation

You want to land each step like a moderately cursed action figure trying to prove something to a parking lot.

4

Listen to Your Body, Then Ignore Its Dumb Opinions

Your body will say things like “slow down” and “please stop,” but that is quitter talk, you baby.

5

Rotate Your Rivalries Frequently

For peak performance, choose a new imaginary enemy every half mile so your motivation stays fresh and deeply unwell.

find your excellence

at strong bad speed school, expect the following:
  • HARD WORK
  • AMAZING RESULTS
  • NO LOAFING

Customized coaching to

achieve your goals

If you’re finally ready to do something about your  sad little jogging pace, join now.

Or don’t. I’m not gonna build a whole feelings gazebo about it.

BECAUSE IT HAS TO BE EXCELLENT. 🫡